she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
