white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
