I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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