Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
