puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
