Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
