I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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