Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
