I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
