i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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