he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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