Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
