Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
