well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you never un-have a 4some
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
