It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
