Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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