No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
