hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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