I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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