Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
