Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I still have a little drunk in my system
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
