Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
PANTIES FOUND
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