It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
