last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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