He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
