I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
