no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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