The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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