fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
