Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I want to have your abortion
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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