Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
