White coat. Heels.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
