I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
