"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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