dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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