Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
