omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How does one acquire holy water?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
