Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
