its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
