Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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