Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
