Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Damn victory sex feels great
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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