I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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