dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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