And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize