it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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