OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
