before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
