Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
