ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
