FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
