he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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