i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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