just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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