Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
