Apparently you make a good broom.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
